If we'd only try...

I think this post is actually somewhat a continuation of my previous post, however disconnected my ideas conceptions were.  I heard recently that, "there are no such things as soul mates".  It's a very interesting statement, regardless of whether or not I agree or disagree.  Of course, this ultimately boils down to what we define as a "soul mate".  Intuitively, I'm inclined to think of a soul mate as someone whom God has prepared for someone else, and perhaps this is where my definition deviates from issuers of such statements.  However, let's not get into that, I'm not here to discuss God's providence and marriage.  Rather, let's consider a lot of times what society today construes as being a "soul mate".  From my understanding (which I concede is rather limited), modern culture depicts soul mates as two people who just kind of "click".  They'll always get along, they'll always be happy together, etc...  I believe this view is often perpetuated by the constant "love-at-first-sight" kind of romances that happen in all sorts of fictional works; books, movies, television programming, etc...

Now, I want to move to a point where we step away from all this "romance" stuff, because this concept I think applies to all relationships in general.  It's natural that we connect with some people more naturally than others.  When we converse with one another, we generally need something to talk about.  Hence why people who have the same interest generally can and will group together, they have something to talk about.  Already there is the bond of a shared passion there.  However, I hope that everyone would agree with me that friendship should be more than the things we have in common.  Being human, there will ALWAYS be times when we are in disagreement with others, where my interests conflict with someone else's (my friend's).  This could be a somewhat alien concept (while I hope it isn't, I wouldn't be surprised if it was), friendships are relationships in spite of the differences that separate us.  Ultimately, I think the closeness of a relationship is measured by the amount of time spent with the other person.  Time spent with each other may or may not be physical time, it could be done over the phone, Skype, mail, etc... depending on each person.  Naturally, physical proximity is that much more poignant than more "long-distance" means of communication, but still, it is time spent with the other person.

We as a people are very good at compartmentalizing things.  Each aspect of life goes into its own little box and never shall items be mixed.  However, we as people are individuals, not stacks of boxes.  I know for myself, I have a little hobby box here, and I hope to develop relationships with people in that box, but if I don't see them outside of the context of that hobby, how can I really get to know them?  How can they get to know me?  Perpetually, I'd probably end up as "that guy that's pretty fun to play volleyball with".  It takes continual work and effort to get to know someone, but oftentimes we kind of just "expect" it to happen.  We may not believe in "soul mates" but it's definitive that we connect with some people better than others.  Even then, there isn't anyone out there that won't take work to get to know, we don't make best friends every other day.  Part of what makes that friendship special is the time that has been invested into it.  What am I putting in?